I want some opinions on if this is ok (i don't want people making fun of me for this)?

ok so i am a 15 year old boy and for about 4 years iv wanted nothing more than to be a girl. on games i put down a girl name as my name, my avatars are always a girl. when i read i hate stories about men. when i go to the bathroom i st down to go pee(unlike most men) id like to wear girls close but am afraid of others mocking me. my parents no nothing of my yearns.i have also gone into depression a few times because my life as a guy is unfavourable. when my friends see me playing as a girl in games they always say some snide remark that while usually true is still painfull to hear.